Heaven in Hard Times

I am a Carvin machine lately, apparently. This time it's sexswap/genderswap, as prompted in anon_lovefest.

I have one more Carvin on the backburner (not counting the ones in my head that haven't seen a doc yet), and then I'm gonna have to knock myself back into a Kevron state of mine for jonas_harlequin which you should totally go sign up for if you haven't yet, because BAD ROMANCE NOVEL PLOTS, come ON.

And at some point I should probably write my jb_ficexchange fic. I am REALLY FOND of this writing thing I'm suddenly doing all the time again. THANKS, JOBROS.

When stripping labels off cardboard cans, you use a safety blade to cut the labels in half, and that requires pinching the label to make a little gap to slide the blade in. We got a bunch of new temps today, and one of them was having trouble with the cutting; she kept referring to the gap as a "hole", saying she was "having trouble finding the hole".

And in the midst of a bunch of us loling about the unintentional double entendre, she busts out with "well, I ain't a fucking dyke" to, presumably, explain why she's not good at hole-finding.

Guess how many people acted as if "dyke" isn't an okay thing to say. I bet you guessed right, unless you have any faith in people at all.

One guy, one of the ones who started today, said he didn't think anyone there was. Because three hours is enough time to tell that, because any amount of time is enough time to tell, because everyone's a stereotype.

And I kind of felt like garbage for not saying anything, but seven or eight people not even flinching - more than that, laughing like crazy - at the word, at the very idea that someone around them might be omggay, that's a little daunting.

IDK. I mostly kept my headphones in for the rest of the day after that. And I...if nothing else, I feel like maybe I'm making the right decision being closeted, even if it makes me feel kind of cowardly and leads to awkward situations like the brother setup.

Speaking of headphones, I'm gonna need you all to buy or download Mika's new album, The Boy Who Knew Too Much. It's a big rainbow in audio form, like Life In Cartoon Motion but better. Toy Boy (lyrics) is completely 100% about Kevron (and actually works fairly neatly as a several-years-in-the-future Zac-POV coda to blackwayfarers's Slow Dancing In A Burning Room. I was jotting down fic notes earlier and realized that's all I was doing, writing embittered Burning-Room-'verse future!Zac).

Seriously:

It’s a cruel cross that I have to bear
If you come a little close I’m going to pull your hair
More than just a toy in a patch-blue suit
Hold me in your arms I’m just a boy like you

But your mama thought there was somethin’ wrong
Didn’t want you sleeping with a boy too long
It’s a serious thing in a grown-up world
Maybe you’d be better with a Barbie girl

Anyway, Kevron aside, it's completely impossible to be anything but happy listening to Mika.

In other music news, I finally got around to downloading Cobra Starship's Hot Mess, and I'm really disappointed no one told me there was a Cash Cash remix of Good Girls Go Bad. That is just way too much electronic cheesy scene awesomeness for me to handle unprepared.

Nobody has a single fannish top five they're curious about? FINE I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU ANYWAY.

My Zefron movie marathon never really happened, because I kept writing. 5,000 words this weekend of Kevron's epic love. GEMS LIKE THIS.

"Let's talk to Disney," Kevin suggests, tilts his head into Zac's fingers, "see if they'll give us a time slot to talk about anal sex and unwed pregnancy."

"That," Zac says, grinning down at him, "would be my favorite thing. Ever."

"Hi kids. I'm Kevin Jonas, of the Jonas brothers, and I'm here to tell you all that I'm gay. Do you know what that means, kids? It means I like dicks in my butt."

"Specifically, he likes my dick. Hey everyone! I'm Zac Efron, and I'm a big ol' dick-lover, too. If you wanna be cool like Troy Bolton, put a dick in your ass!"

"You can't say ass on Disney, Zac."

"But we can talk about dicks in butts?"

"We're trying to teach the little ones tolerance, not bad language."

"Ass is shady language, at worst."

I don't even care if other people read my writing anymore, I ENTERTAIN MYSELF.

Meme from liketheroad! Post the first line from the last 20 fics you wrote. I am going through a bit of an "open with the world's longest sentence" phase right now.

1. If someone had asked Kevin if he thought Zac Efron would make a hot girl, he'd probably look at them like they were weird, 'cause that's a weird question, and say "no".

2. "So I just spent a year traveling back and forth across the country. And now I have a whole bunch of time to spend in one place. And you want me to spend more of that time than I have to...traveling."

3. Kevin has absolutely no idea what's going on – one minute he was trying to cheer Nick up with a story about this really cute armadillo he saw on tv, and he thought it was working 'cause Nick's face had gone from "I'm gonna burn holes in you with my eyes" to "I hope you can see just how much I hate you" (maybe he'd gotten it wrong and reversed the order? He had trouble with Nick's angry faces sometimes), and then all of a sudden Nick was growling at him to shut the Hell up and had him against the wall.

4. Half-listening to a conversation between Kevin and Michelle about whether some pair of pants would actually allow him to move without cutting off his circulation, Nick found himself wondering why Joe – who was usually completely incapable of letting off a joke until long after everyone else had stopped finding it even the littlest bit funny – hadn't made any Captain Tightpants comments about Kevin for a while.

5. Aya was the first girl – first person – to break Tosh's heart, when they were just little.

( TWO crossdressing fics, one sexswap, and cannibalism! I'm the best )