unfiltered

I was gonna post earlier but I spent all day alternately wallowing and trying not to think about it.

Good combo, that.

Chrissy and I would've been together a year today (technically yesterday, but eh). Or, not necessarily TOGETHER, but it was August 4th I told her I was totally nuts about her. And...yeah.

There's a part of me that wishes I'd never sent it. Which is stupid, because there was good. Lots of good. But...that part doesn't like that it was all based on a lie. Or...lie is too harsh. Confusion and denial, maybe.

But...eh. I'm absolutely miserable today, which is fun. I don't think I left the house once. Healthy, oh yes. Didn't shower, didn't bother to change out of the pajamas, barely left the room.

See? I'm the picture of emotional togetherness. Totally coping well, yeah.

It's cool, I don't have feelings. Lie to me, avoid me, drag me through the mud, throw excuses at me, bitch behind my back. Crucify me. It doesn't hurt, honest. Which is good, because if it hurts and I mention it I'm not being nice.

Ah well. Enough wallowing for now, back to mindless distraction.