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Feb. 3rd, 2008 02:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hector_rashbaumThe funeral was yesterday. Kathy had asked Mom to plan it, and Mom's goal was..."I don't want generic, I don't want anyone to leave that funeral with any doubt in his mind that was Kathy Ford."
I think we achieved that; it was unique and celebratory and so very Kathy.
I wanted to speak, and ended up choosing "Poem" by Eeyore from the last chapter of The House at Pooh Corner. My very first memory of Kathy, probably my first memory period, is when Kathy was part of the Center for Puppetry Arts' touring cast, and we went to see the show. They ended with a preview of upcoming shows - there was a Pooh show planned, and the only thing I remember from the entire trip was Tigger bouncing Kathy down.
My sister had written a poem about Kathy's death she wanted read but didn't think she could hold it together enough to read, so we asked one of her friends from a local theater company (Catalyst Theater, one of the places we asked donations in Kathy's name be made to) to read it. She agreed, and asked if she could do a reading of her own, too. So she read "Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten", which fit wonderfully, and then Andrea's poem.
We finished with a slideshow I put together that people seemed to like, a hymn Kathy had requested (When the Roll is Called Up Yonder), and - best part - the postlude was "Angels We Have Heard on High", because she loved Christmas and loved singing and that was her favorite carol.
And OH MY GOD we held a reception after in place of a viewing before, and one of Kathy's old boyfriends from Atlanta showed up. He was easily the nicest guy she ever dated...Tom. We found, in a box of pictures in Kathy's apartment I was digging through for the slideshow, a letter to her from my grandfather. Apparently he'd just started the letter when I asked what he was doing and he said writing to Kathy...so I asked if I could write to Kathy and "uncle Tommy", too. I was 2ish years old. And yeah. The one time those two visited, Tom brought me on a sleigh ride, another one of my earliest memories. So he showed up (who DOES that, drives all the way from Atlanta to Vermont for an ex's funeral...that's just so YES) and I got the biggest fucking hug and you guys that was the first time I've cried...Jesus, since this began.
Got home, took a massive nap...and still went to bed reasonably early and got the best sleep I've had in weeks. And now it's naptime again :)
I think we achieved that; it was unique and celebratory and so very Kathy.
I wanted to speak, and ended up choosing "Poem" by Eeyore from the last chapter of The House at Pooh Corner. My very first memory of Kathy, probably my first memory period, is when Kathy was part of the Center for Puppetry Arts' touring cast, and we went to see the show. They ended with a preview of upcoming shows - there was a Pooh show planned, and the only thing I remember from the entire trip was Tigger bouncing Kathy down.
Christopher Robin is going.
At least I think he is.
Where?
Nobody knows.
But he is going --
I mean he goes
(To rhyme with "knows")
Do we care?
(To rhyme with "where")
We do
Very much.
(I haven't got a rhyme for that "is" in the second line yet. Bother.)
(Now I haven't got a rhyme for bother. Bother.)
Those two bothers will have
to rhyme with each other
Buther.
The fact is this is more difficult than I thought, I ought --
(Very good indeed)
I ought
To begin again,
But it is easier
To stop.
Christopher Robin, goodbye,
I
(Good)
I
And all your friends
Sends --
I mean all your friend
Send --
(Very awkward this, it keeps going wrong)
Well, anyhow, we send
Our love
END.
My sister had written a poem about Kathy's death she wanted read but didn't think she could hold it together enough to read, so we asked one of her friends from a local theater company (Catalyst Theater, one of the places we asked donations in Kathy's name be made to) to read it. She agreed, and asked if she could do a reading of her own, too. So she read "Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten", which fit wonderfully, and then Andrea's poem.
Going Home
I guess now it's time to realize
You're never really gone
Not so long as there's a song to sing
Or a laugh ringing out
And I guess we all know it
We've all heard those things before
That nobody ever really leaves
And our sadness is the only thing
That ever really passes away
Because our memories stay deep with us
Which makes you immortal
And your stories will always make us laugh
And always make us smile
We can always remember the life that burned inside you
And the light that you carried with you
So now through our tears we try to remind ourselves
That you're better now
You're home and there's no more suffering
You're home and you're happy now
Now that you can be with us always
And even though we know it will take time,
The weakness and the sickness won't be how you're remembered
It will be your light and your laughter
The song you sang and the joy you carried
And now you're home,
And there's no more suffering
We finished with a slideshow I put together that people seemed to like, a hymn Kathy had requested (When the Roll is Called Up Yonder), and - best part - the postlude was "Angels We Have Heard on High", because she loved Christmas and loved singing and that was her favorite carol.
And OH MY GOD we held a reception after in place of a viewing before, and one of Kathy's old boyfriends from Atlanta showed up. He was easily the nicest guy she ever dated...Tom. We found, in a box of pictures in Kathy's apartment I was digging through for the slideshow, a letter to her from my grandfather. Apparently he'd just started the letter when I asked what he was doing and he said writing to Kathy...so I asked if I could write to Kathy and "uncle Tommy", too. I was 2ish years old. And yeah. The one time those two visited, Tom brought me on a sleigh ride, another one of my earliest memories. So he showed up (who DOES that, drives all the way from Atlanta to Vermont for an ex's funeral...that's just so YES) and I got the biggest fucking hug and you guys that was the first time I've cried...Jesus, since this began.
Got home, took a massive nap...and still went to bed reasonably early and got the best sleep I've had in weeks. And now it's naptime again :)
no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 07:59 pm (UTC)Holy...wow.
And it's good that you cried...you need to have some release for it...you'll explode otherwise.
*hugs*
Hope you have/had a nice nap.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 08:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 09:40 pm (UTC)Glad you were finally able to cry. It helps. (((HUGS)))
no subject
Date: 2008-02-04 12:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-04 06:37 pm (UTC)I'm glad the service went well for you and you're family.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-05 01:24 am (UTC)*hugs to the family*