Heaven in Hard Times

I am going to finish my help_haiti this weekend. I feel awful about not getting it done already, but I am completely 100% blocked and can't get over the anxiety of giving someone who paid money something that reads like I had to grit my teeth and force it out.

I'm doing that thing I do when I'm blocked in this specific way, getting obsessed with Sims and using that to play out all the ridiculous self-indulgent storylines I will never write in hopes that will get them out of my head so actual fic-worthy stuff can take its place. Kevin and girl!Ryan Ross have three kids.

I am 99% sure my jb_bigbang fic is going to be the Merlin AU; I'm fairly confident I've managed to tweak the characters/relationships enough to cast all the important parts, although I need to make a final decision whether I want to keep Uther and Gaius as some mix of themselves and OCs or keep trying to find people to fill those roles. Any suggestions from JB&Merlin fans on the flist are welcome.

Sometimes my sister doesn't suck, apparently; as a sorry-you-smashed-the-car-on-my-account gift, she bought me a box of JONAS valentines with a poster. Sometimes, my family understands me perfectly.

1. Everyone immediately go read blackwayfarers' new Kevron fic, Home Is Not A Harbor. It's a Titanic AU and it's AMAZING.

2. Apparently I'm wired to do this meme every single time it gets posted. Post a line or paragraph from one (or more!) of your works-in-progresses, and encourage your flist to do the same.

( Way Too Many Kevin/Bandom Crossovers )

Kevin Jonas is my fandom bicycle.

If I can figure out who would be Gwen, I think my jb_bigbang fic'll be a Kevron Merlin AU. KEVIN IS THE IDEAL MERLIN, okay, and I'm not just saying that because this is maybe the sixth time I've tried to shoehorn one of my fandoms into Merlin.

Except I want Nick to be Uther and that makes the least sense in the entire world. WHATEVER, I HAVE TIME.

I keep waffling on whether or not this is gonna end up in the finished fic, so here, ( have some adorbs JWalk/Kevin studycuddles )

I started work again yesterday, which is mostly a good thing, except for the part where I have to spend eight hours a day with someone I've hated since seventh grade (sometimes the world is too small), the coworker who obsessively matchmakes (and even if any of her suggestions were good, even if I were into the idea of dating guys right now [I am definitely more bisexual than I use to be, but not enough that I think "bisexual" is a more accurate descriptor than "lesbian"], how obvious she makes it what she considers "in my league" is SO BAD for my self-esteem, oh my God), and the guy who is mostly cool until he gets all Wise (I think most people have a phase where they have applied their superior common sense to all the world's problems and figured out how to fix them, except all their solutions come from massive privilege while simultaneously ignoring the existence of privilege, and none of them hold up when scrutinized. That's where he is.)

Also the part where I've been so tired the past two days I'm amazed I can still form words. My job requires no thought, so I spend all day writing fic in my head, but by the time I get home I can barely remember any of it, much less write any of it down. I've finished the Kevin/JWalk college AU something like six times in my head, and written a sequel (with fanmix!) for When I'm Around Her, and this really awesome (not to toot my own horn, but ~toot toot~) angsty Mike/Kevin high school AU, and none of it is ever going to get written because by the end of the day tomorrow I am going to collapse and sleep forever.

If that doesn't happen, though, only one person responded when I posted this drabble meme, so if you a) like my writing and b) would like to see my ego remain unbruised, there is still PLENTY OF ROOM to ask for something

I am on this big emo-ballad kick lately, and I wish that Vh1 show that hidden-cameras people singing in their cars was still on because I think my Everything We Had/What A Catch Donnie performances would earn me a spot for sure.

The more I listen to "Who I Am" the more it sounds like Bon Jovi. In a good way. IDK. It makes sense, if he's having a Springsteen phase, 'cause I'm pretty sure Springsteen divided by Jonas Brother wasn't ever gonna be anything other than Bon Jovi.

!!!!!!Awkward segue time!!!!!!

Speaking of Bon Jovi, Yuletide authors have been revealed, which means my fic is up in hectorfic now and you should all go read it and tell me how awesome I am. I haven't written Bon Jovi in forever, Jon/Richie in longer than that, but I'm pretty happy with it, SO.

I have a killer headache today and I didn't even drink last night. AWESOME.

I wrote a Mike/Kevin Christmas ficlet; my original intention was to also write some festive Kevron, but apparently the ew-Mike-Carden Kevron people on my flist are out of luck. WHOOPS.

OMG I finished the stupid Yuletide fic. In one stupid sitting (well, three or four, if you count the time it took to get the first stupid hundred words out). Apparently all I needed to do was go work out a bit so my brain would shut off and then reboot in the appropriate mode. IDK. Once it started flooding out I wondered why I ever stopped writing for this fandom in the first place. So, awesome. It's all uploaded and everything, so hopefully I will be less of an anxiety mess (I spent most of the day in bed. That is a giant red flag. And then I spent the rest of today berating myself for spending most of the day in bed, which is also bad).

I feel like garbaaaage. I've had the migraine aura since I woke up from my nap, and the actual headache finally joined it.

I finished and sent one jb_ficexchange fic but I haven't even started the second one I don't know what to write oh God why did I offer to pinch write somebody kill me now

So after missing work Wednesday thanks to my ER visit and Thursday thanks to some residual gross-feeling-ness and a bad migraine, I managed to make it through the day on Friday, making it a 24-hour week.

Of course, by the middle of the day Friday I was feeling crappy in an entirely different way than Tuesday night's stomach disaster and Thursday's migraine. Because it's the first week of November, which means I have to get a cold. I thought maybe I'd escape it this year; when I'm in school, I get wicked burned out the last week of October, and I was hoping the cold was a result of that. But no.

Because all the pictures of Kevin with ladies' shoes in Milan made me so happy, ( have 600 words of Kevin-is-a-crossdresser fic )

I have kind of failed at LJ lately. Mostly because I am very very boring.

Work is...work, idk. I still like it, but there are some people (Crazy Conspiracy Lady, Dickbag Who Has The Impulse Control Of A Five-Year-Old, The One Who Doesn't Understand Boundaries) I really wish would go. Unfortunately, two of them are really good workers - or at least they get a lot done, I hesitate to actually call CCL a good worker, because to me that includes some willingness to adapt to the team - but Impulse Control's tendency to cross the line until someone gets hurt (he has sprayed me in the face with isopropyl alcohol before. He is SO LUCKY it was me he hit [he wasn't aiming] because I had glasses on so none got in my eyes. Plus I was in a good mood that day). IDK. Mostly it's good. Today I got to organize on a large scale, boss around the forklift driver, and carry around my Troy Bolton pen and Jonas Brother notebook (my other option was a sharpie and discarded cardboard, okay) in an official capacity. So that was neat.

I am spending most of my time writing Jonas Brothers hooker!fic, working title Kevin Jonas: The Sad Little Hooker Who Could. Because it's not like I have three different challenge fics on a deadline, or anything. It's not my fault no one has picspammed me inspiration for any of them.

Wow this is exactly as boring as I expected.